Life lately, it’s been hard to say the least. It’s flown by and I haven’t even been able to find my feet for ages and as usual when this sort of thing happens, I begin to get overwhelmed and then that sinking feeling of I just can’t cope creeps in, it’s been a hard May, June & July. I wrote a post last autumn about depression and anxiety which you can read here, its something that affects all of us at some stage in our life and it isn’t a sign of failure, it’s the body and mind saying enough is enough, put the breaks on, slow down and heal.
The good thing is, through my cognitive behaviour therapy classes, something I undertook three years ago, I now recognise when this begins to happen and so I try to slow down and analyse why and what has led to these feelings again and this time, it’s clear, I’ve taken on far too much and my blog has taken a back seat, something I never intended and never wanted to happen. Here’s why.
May was a lovely month, it’s the month my son came back from two years in South Korea, apart from 17 days in January 2017, we hadn’t seen him for two years and 3 months. I didn’t quite know when exactly he’d be back, I never pushed instead I allowed him to let us know. He enjoyed nearly 3 months of travelling around South East Asia after his contract finished, the photo’s he sent over those three months were of someone having an unbelievably fantastic time. He’d been to and seen places that many of us won’t get the opportunity to visit such as the Killing Fields in Cambodia, touring Vietnam, the Philippines, Bali and Indonesia, Bangkok and a tiny unspoilt island off the coast of Thailand, Singapore, Taiwan and Japan. One boring Sunday as I was cleaning, hubby was out on “business” in reality, he was in fact at Heathrow collecting our son. My husband knocked on the door, I in dirty clothes and marigolds, he calls me to come out to the car as he had a “present” well that present was in fact our son!! Around the corner was my baby, I was literally stunned, instead of tears, I was in fits of hysterics “how could this be possible” I was saying? Well of course they both hatched this cunning plan and kept it from all of us. The expressions on the other kids’ faces was priceless as they came back from various activities to find their older brother sitting on the couch at home looking worse for wear and noticeably thinner than he was. Gone were his muscles from daily workouts, the only workout in those three months of travel was knocking back the booze! He was also sick, he had contracted tonsillitis and that was partly the reason for coming home, that and rather sensibly, not wanting to go through all his savings. He was a sight for sore eyes for sure, he’s been a delight to have home and in the two months he’s been back, he is now working for a publishing company, a good job for a fab new company which is no doubt a stepping stone to greater things and a greater career, he’s very happy as we all are.
May also saw Mr LmP and I’s 27th wedding anniversary which we chose to celebrate back at the Ritz Hotel where we celebrated out 21st back in May 2012. We chose a dinner & dancing package which included an overnight stay, dinner and dancing in the award-winning Ritz restaurant with live band and breakfast the following morning. I love the Ritz, it’s simply the most iconic of London hotels, rich in history, understated glamour and elegance, dinner & dancing is the stuff of dreams, like being in a Hollywood movie. The Ritz Hotel don’t things by halves, everything is refined perfection with service to boot, you’ll know that if you’ve ever had their famed Afternoon Tea which is envied the world over. You can read more about our experience here, I wrote three posts on our stay, a tourofthehotel, dinner&dancing and our anniversary stay.
June was when things started to go downhill, while my blog turned one year old on the 16th, I took on a part time job, two days a week, admin work. I should have been so happy celebrating my blogaversary, I was instead wallowing in self-pity. I wanted to release a special post about that milestone, the thing I most wanted in life, it should have been celebrated but instead I was feeling isolated from it as this job took over. I know what you’re thinking, other bloggers work full time and still have time to run their blog.
What you need to understand is, my family is big, I have four children, yes they are getting older but while they are still at home, I feel compelled to carry on as I did when they were young and care for their every need as I was so use to doing all these years whether that’s their washing/ironing, cooking, looking after my daughter who at 15 will be in her most important year at school come September, GCSE year plus the usual cooking/cleaning, yes I do need a cleaner and it has all just got on top of me, blog, what blog? is what I found myself saying much to my dismay. I found myself resenting Thursdays and Fridays, the two days I work and when I am bored at work, all I think about is “I could be getting on with a post”, then the monthly pay check comes which is pretty good for two days and I find myself in a dilemma, do I part with this money and go back to my old life, concentrate on the blog and be happy again or do I stick to the job?
I still haven’t decided, but what I do know is that I NEED and WANT to make blogging my full time paid job whether its writing for a magazine, guest posts, creating recipes and posts for other companies such as a deal that I nearly pulled off if it weren’t for the company being completely disorganised leaving things too late and that was for World Tapas Day and Rioja wine, it would have been a good little earner. The point is, to get recognised, you must regularly post so you can see the dilemma I find myself in, I have a lot of thinking to do.
One happy thing I did do in June was to enjoy Afternoon Tea at the Grosvenor Park Hotel in Park Lane, an elegant, sophisticated hotel in the heart of this iconic Mayfair street. The hotel chose to name their Afternoon Tea after the 7th Duchess of Bedford, Anna, a close friend of the young Queen Victoria, this Tea pays homage to the duchess who some say, invented the tradition of Afternoon Tea. It was divine, very traditional in the perfect surroundings of the Park Room and the most wonderful thing of all was I had unlimited champagne which is my favourite tipple, you can read more here.
July has been a month of holiday prep, so after 7 years, I am finally going back to Cyprus where my family are from. Mum and dad have been in London since 1962 but I have lots of family in Cyprus. My mum’s family are from a village just outside of Nicosia now occupied by the Turks since the 1974 illegal invasion of the island but mum’s family left the village when she was tiny and so she grew up in Nicosia town. She lost her father at aged 3 hence my grandmothers’ reliance on her sister’s family. My grandmother’s sister’s husband was very comfortably off as he owned a business so they all lived together, my great aunt’s family helping my grandmother and so my mum became very close to her cousin’s – all boys, they are like brothers to her. I love my mum’s family and I really do hope I get to see them when I go to Cyprus. My dad’s family on the other hand mostly live in Paphos with the exception of one brother who passed away a few years ago, he resided in Limassol where I enjoyed many a happy family holiday when I was younger and living at home.
Paphos is my happy place and that’s were we stay when we go to Cyprus. Paphos has many 5* deluxe hotels, The Annabelle, Almyra, The Elysium to name a few but we have always stayed in 4* star hotels since the kids were small as I wanted them to be free and comfortable in their surroundings, some of the 5* can be a bit too formal for kids and so we got used to staying at the Aquamare Hotel, a hotel built in 2006 so the first time we stayed there in 2007, the hotel was lovely and new. It has recently undergone refurbishment and I am very excited to see the changes, it has a spa which I have never used but I just may do that this year. Paphos is home to my dad’s brother and sister, my dad’s brother is the most wonderful man I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, a humble man with so much dignity and wisdom and selflessness and I can’t wait to see him and my cousin’s again.
This month, I have spent every weekend shopping for the holiday with my daughter who is beyond excited at the prospect of a holiday in Cyprus again. She was 9 when she was last there, so she can’t remember much about the island, my family and the hotel, in fact, everyone is excited to be going back. I am spending the first week with my younger son and daughter and Mr LmP and my older two sons come for the final week and we all leave together. I’m looking forward to posting all about my holiday when I return, just to let you know, there will be a Holiday Beauty Edit post next week.
July also saw me go to the Coral Room, part of the Bloomsbury Hotel and of course, Dalloway Terrace, an instagrammer’s paradise. Let me just say, it did not live up to standard hence no post about my Afternoon Tea, but I am however going back for brunch in September, a special invite by the Coral Room.
That’s it for my three month update, yes it’s been a tough May, June & July, its taken me away from my blog which has made me deeply unhappy but I will do a lot of thinking and soul searching while I am on holiday and decide what to in September and if I do keep this job, I will do my best to be more organised and post more regularly and see where that takes me, maybe I will make my blog my full time job and the thought of that makes me very happy indeed.
Happy Holidays 😊